It's Been an Interesting Journey - so far !
Well It's Been a Long Journey !
My healing journey began when I was 28 years old and I gave birth to my beautiful daughter. I had to have major surgery when she was 10 months old and that marked the beginning of my searching for answers to lifes' questions. When I had my first surgery, recovery was a bit slow, I felt like the walking dead and it took a long time to heal. I look back on it now and I feel I was probably a lot sicker than I let onto anyone. It was a 'routine' surgery yet I remember being 'bone' tired from that surgery for years. I feel in some ways my body has never been the same. I felt so different, completely changed. When you have a youngster you don't have time to be tired, so I would push myself to do everything. From outside appearances to others, I had it all, Doctors' wife, beautiful child, sweet husband, beautiful home, abundance. It seemed I led a charmed life. I wish I could say that was true, it simply was not. My health issues continued throughout the years, a few more surgeries a few years later. When I look back on it all now I see it as the only way for my mind to wake up from the incorrect way it had enslaved itself to a mundane life ! I was given several times to 'wake up' ! I heeded the call. After the last two surgeries and being very ill for half a year, I started to educate myself on how to take better care of myself. I started learning and started to find my path within alternative healing.
When my daughter was 10 she was diagnosed as a type 1 insulin dependant diabetic. I didn't panic, I didn't cry, I took it as another hurdle to hop over and I learned alot more about alternative healing. My daughters beginning of a new life, was also the beginning of my own. I started to learn more about hands on healing and it was the real beginning of my journey with my daughter. We grew closer than ever. My husband at that time was very concentrated at building his career, he worked many hours and even started a side business that took up much of his time and took him away from his family. I didn't realize it at that time, but it was beginning of perhaps the toughest transition to come in my life.
I will never forget the day. My daughter was having a halloween party and it was two days before my 42nd birthday, my husband told me he was leaving. He had been unhappy and I had told him countless times to go and speak with someone and get some counseling. That day he told me he had been in counseling for 8 months and had already spoken to a Priest we knew and had made his mind up. I was concerned for our daughter, I even asked him to stay until she was older, he said no, he was afraid then that he would be too old to meet anyone else. My growing was really about to begin. If I could have looked in a crystal ball at that time and seen just how happy I would be here today, I am sure I would not have had one ounce of fear. I look back now upon it and think sometimes that the universe drop kicked him out of my life so I could stop standing in his shadow and become who I was really meant to be.
Life Begins Over at 43
My new life began the minute my soon to be ex husband stepped out the door. I experienced a sense of freedom I never had in my life, it was almost like relief .The going was very tough, in some ways he was fair, very fair. In other ways he was totally unfair and selfish and secretive and I went through the emotions of feeling thrown away and very cheated. I look back and realize that those are very normal emotions for someone to feel. I will not gloss over the fact that I was in a lot of pain even though part of me understood that a new life was beginning for me . It was a bit scary.
Money was tight, but somehow I managed to learn all my healing methods and eventually step into the role of Minister. There is always a way to accomplish anything, you simply need to find it. I opened myself up to trusting that the money would come for things and it did. When I decided to become a Hypnotherapist and needed money for the training, Clients came to me for healing work and I was able to take that money and pay for my training. It all balanced out.
My biggest responsibility of course was my daughter who was having a tough road of it. She has a disease that on any given day can kill her. She was a teenager and she was having a hard time at school. My daughter also had to deal with the fact that there were things where I had to say - No honey, sorry money is tight now and I cannot do that for you. I really had a hard time with that aspect of the entire situation. When she as 15, I know now, that we almost lost her, she went into ketoacidosis and had to be hospitalized. It was a cry for help, I had been paying attention, but she now had spiritual and emotional needs that I had to help her with and I did. Since that time, she has been recovering her spirit. My child teaches me with her resiliency and she is wise beyond her years ! I learn from her all the time, I especially learned from her during those years.
The hardest thing I had to let go of was my beautiful home. I had raised my daughter in that home. I had so many celebrations and holidays in that home. I have memories of that home being such a safe haven for so many of my daughters friends through the years. They were always safe in our house and got such healing. I had to let it go though because in my new life and way of living there was at the time no way I could afford to stay there. It did break my heart. I began to suffer many physical symptoms from the move and all the events that surrounded it. Luckily for me I was not alone, I had a new love in my life, I had my daughter, my parents rallied around me and I got it sold. It was so sad to let it go. I still ache for MY home, there are times when I feel adrift. I still cry, its normal, I am healing myself.
No One Said Life Would Be Simple !!
Life doesn't need to be that hard all the time ! I have learned from embracing the teachings of the Course in Miracles, that just allowing myself to put Holy Spirit in charge is all I need to do. I have learned that I create the reality I am living by the decisions I make. I create my reality with the people I choose to align myself with . I create my own happiness. Happiness IS my choice. I have learned to Embrace and Welcome changes that come my way. I realize that as I create my reality, my decisions have created the transitions that are coming also.
My study of the Course in Miracles has allowed me to straighten out the jumble that once was my thinking and my mind. I have 'unlearned' all the misconceptions I was taught growing up and I have returned to my True Self, which is That I AM a Beautiful, Loving Spark of God and I am deserving of ALL the Love and Goodness that I Attract into My Being. I have healed my mind and my heart and soul :) I am still 'the same' person I always was, I am simply so much more Loving, Clear,Alert, and Aware of my Souls' True Purpose. Everything I ever need to know is given to me through Spirit and my Divine Connection to that Loving source of ALL that is - God :)
MMMMMMMMMM
What is Empowement ?
How do you Get it ? Is it Something you can Buy ? Is it Easy to Obtain ? Why do you Need it ? Can you Practice it ? Why is it Important ? Where can I Get It ? Do you Have It ? Do you Want It ? Have you Found it ? DO You Really Want it ? I Can show you T.H.E. Way :) Embrace Change. Welcome change, make it work for you, Breathe it in..................
Allowing LOVE Into My Life Again
How many people get to fall in love twice in a lifetime. I am so blessed I found someone who loves me for all of who I am and how many people can say that they have that. By learning to embrace the transition and the way my life was moving along, I allowed love to come back in. It was not easy, I had to learn to trust all over again and that was very tough going for me for a while. Transition is hard to deal with yes, but there are ways you can work through them. Faith is very important. Self Love is also very important. Understanding and learning who you are and what you are about, and believe me, many people do not know, is key to moving along without too much trauma.
My daughter is also allowing the love back in, she met a wonderful young man and is engaged to be married, she is also mending fences the best she can with her father. I pray she is mindful that she is not the one who broke them, I think she knows that. Trust is hard for her, but she is a very loving soul and she shares that love so freely. Maybe one of the hardest things but also the best things to come out of this is that she now has a brother and a sister where she once did not. She loves them dearly and so do I. I would love to see them so much more, perhaps the universe is listening and will allow that to happen, they are beautiful and sweet and they are a part of my own child. :)
SO in a nutshell and that being the very abbreviated version is some of how I got from where I was to where I am now. As you can see it has been a great journey and in the interest of space and putting people to sleep I left many details out. The details are not important ! What is important is that I am here to say to you all -
I HAVE SURVIVED ALL THE TRANSITIONS IN MY LIFE AND AM SMILING AND HAPPY !
I hope you join me on my journey through life ! xoxoxoxoxoxo Rev. Carolyn xoxoxoxoxoxoxoo
The Children in My Life 0r How I Attract Indigos - more to come !!
I attract Indigo children. There I said it ! I attract them because I am an adult Indigo. I know that now after doing research about Indigos and discovering that there are indeed many more of us who were born well before the 'dates' previously mentioned in all the books published. I have been working with them since well before I knew I was one of them ! My daughter is one and she has many friends who also are. I could always also pick out the ones who were not. She had one friend in particular who had chosen and very hard life path and would come into my home and stand in my healing room and point to the spirits who were in it. LOL ! There was an entire summer where my daughter who had started to work at a local supermarket made many friends and they used to hang out in that room and watch movies.... I can tell you alot of healing took place in that room through the years. I still remember the laughter I would hear coming from that room and how much it meant to me to know that so many were healing together. These Indigo children are SO special.. we are ALL special, however the Indigos and Crystals are so filled with Love and Caring for all those around them, how could you not be in love with them :)
